I know virtually nothing about Twilight. And I’d like to keep it that way.
What little I do know, I’ve learned from my students. And that’s enough.
My first introduction to Twilight came when my sophomores were studying Shakespeare. One of their assignments was to write a sonnet. While sonnets typically develop the many facets of romantic love, I told kids they could write about anything they liked: a hamburger, a video game, or their mother.
Several girls wrote about Twilight.
Here’s my favorite line: “Though you are a vampire, I love you, too.”
At least it was written in iambic pentameter!
Well, my drive to the Bay provided another Twilight encounter. When I stopped for lunch at Burger King, I realized the franchise was promoting Twilight gear. Had I purchased a children’s meal, I could have received an amulet, wrist cuff, or other item of Gothic paraphernalia. Apparently, Burger King is now in the business of warding off the undead.
Upon entering Burger King, I passed through the Taylor Lautner door. It only got worse when I noticed the cardboard display in front of the line. Wherever I turned, bloodthirsty vampires – who apparently enjoy whoppers – surrounded me. The irony, of course, was that it was the DAYTIME, yet the vampires appeared curiously unharmed.
As I placed my order, I realized that a busload of (Chinese?) tourists was eating lunch. I had to resist the urge to run over and apologize on behalf of sane Americans everywhere. I wanted to cry, “We’re not all like this, I promise!”
But then my amulet arrived.
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