Ain't No Bed of Roses

I know the best people, and I could write about them all day. However, I’ve recently been impressed by a new quality that several of my friends exhibit: marital fidelity.

I recognize, of course, that this is a peculiar topic on which to blog. However, over the past two years, I’ve realized the tenuous nature of marriage. Statistically, this observation isn’t newsworthy. Everyone knows the facts about the marriage failure rate. Given this reality, healthy, intact marriages maintain a certain mystique. How do the marrieds do it?

I naively thought my friends were impervious to divorce. After all, I know such quality, upstanding people! Or, I reasoned that if divorce did happen, it occurred amongst the older folks – fifty and above. It was something that happened after the kids had grown, maybe prompted by a midlife crisis. Whatever the reason, I never imagined that it would happen to young adults in their 20s and 30s.

I was sorely wrong.

Before I continue, I must remind the reader that I’m single, with no marriage experience. Unlike other singles, however, I don’t romanticize wedded status. Marriage is tough, especially since both individuals have separate opinions, desires, and struggles. It’s a rough go.

That said, I cannot count how many marriages have ended after only a few years. And each union has dissolved in the most dramatic, heartbreaking ways possible. Torrid affairs that started within a few months of tying the knot. Or cheating that began during engagement and continued into the marriage. Or, after two years together, both partners realized that they had separate interests and goals. (Never mind that they’d dated for nearly ten years!)

In other words, there’s no guarantee that things will work out.

Please don’t misunderstand me: I am not judging my friends who divorce. Quite the contrary. If anything, I am struck by the obstacles and challenges the marrieds face. I also believe that most spouses don’t start a relationship with the desire to divorce: people want lasting, successful marriages.

Despite earnest desires and the best intentions, so few marriages actually last. Which makes intact marriages so precious. And my respect deepens for couples who prioritize their union and attempt to resolve conflicts as they arise.

Even though I’m single, their perseverance motivates me. Thanks, guys.